List O’The Week: Dessert Edition

Top Four Desserts I’m Obsessed With Right Now:

4. Gu
It’s a mass marketed product, I know, but it’s served in little pots (puds?) you can keep and every variety tastes like pleasure. Sincerely, that’s their motto: “Pleasure is everything!” Plus, Waitrose right now has them 2 for 4 pounds 50. Go for the after dark ramekins, because if you don’t, that’s my new prog rock band name.

3. Campfire Banana Splits
(If you need a link to a recipe because the following isn’t good enough, I weep for you.)

Cut a banana in half the long way (without peeling it.) Put a Flake in it. Put the banana back together. Wrap it all in tinfoil. Put it in the hot coals of a campfire for 20 minutes or so. Open it up. Eat it with a spoon and thank your God or the universe or yourself that you are alive and eating something this awesome.

Variation: Add brandy to Flake. Thank God or the universe or yourself that you are a grown-up.

2. Eton Mess

Look, have you ever baked or cooked and at some point in the process had that defeatist cloud come over you because that photograph on that glossy magazine page looks like angels blessed the kitchen and the thing you made looks like the ashes of an ancient fire of hell? Here’s the dessert for you! It’s supposed to look like the ashes of hell! “Mess” is in the name! It’s ridiculously easy, and Delia is going to help you make it. I promise.

1. Cranachan
(Go ahead. Try to pronounce. I’ll wait.)

Ok, look, I don’t care how you pronounce it. Let’s just run down the list of ingredients, shall we? Cream. Toasted oats. Honey. Raspberries. Mint (if you’ve got it or just leave it out–nobody really cares.) And finally: WHISKEY.

This is the dessert I’ve been missing my whole life. I could never be mad at it, and it’s frankly going to work with frozen raspberries in the middle of winter just to make you long for sunny days (and you can temper that desire with whiskey.)

In conclusion, I present this open letter to Scotland: Thank you.

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