Settling for the Pound Store

Oh, international move, you make everyday an adventure. An exhausting adventure of self-doubt, small victories and very tired feet.

I’m too pooped from today to complete the Queen Mary 2 post I’d planned. So, until tomorrow, I give you. . .

Observations from the Pound Store!

1. The Pound Store > The 99p Store

2. There was an actual documentary on the BBC about the battle between the 99p Store and Poundland! You will feel sadness when you see this is not available in iPlayer because you actually care about the rivalry, and feel that perhaps you didn’t give the 99p store a fair shake before declaring a victor.

3. Don’t buy napkins from the Pound Store. They are made from stale fly wings and sawdust. They absorb nothing.

4. However, the kleenex from Slovenia? Not bad!

5. In my neighborhood, I have a local, family-owned, artisanal Pound Store. It’s really more of a Pound Boutique, and they always stock the Slovenian kleenex BECAUSE THEY HAND SELECT QUALITY.

6. You will then find that your local Pound Boutique appears to be closing! (You will stumble upon a rental offer for the site.) You will understand the problems cheap imports are causing to local economies, but still, you will feel sad at the news.

7. You will Google Slovenia Kleenex until you find a supplier, but you will feel sad that you can only buy in bulk.

8. Then, you will find news that the Slovenian kleenex company is up for sale! IS NOTHING SACRED?

9. Sometimes, you’ll see OPEN cubes of Kleenex (half the Kleenex is gone.) But the open boxes are only 50p each! And the box is “Clue” (like the game) themed! And you will have a moment where you will consider buying half-opened boxes of Clue Kleenex for 50p, but you will stay strong.

And lastly:

10. Things are loose at the Pound Store. That bag of clothespins you bought, it contains “About 50.” It’s printed right on the package because, who’s got time to count at this prices? And for God’s sake, they’re clothespins! If you want an exact count, order them from Amazon for £1.13 more and you’ll only get 36. Spend just a pound and MAYBE you’ll get 50. I like those odds, Pound Store, I like those odds.


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